|
|
Post by CGisNuts on Oct 21, 2013 0:10:33 GMT
Anyone else get depressed around the time it gets darker earlier abd cold out?
What do you do to combat it?
What has worked for you, if anything at all?
I'm sure it has a little to do with my situation, but I'm happy being separated and divorcing.
But at the place I was before, the home was more open and had more space, this place is a little more out of civilization and smaller.
It's a further drive to every place I have to go.
The one thing I like about where I was living, and why I wanted to stay in that area was that I loved the town, and I could walk there in 10 minutes. On down days, I'd break up the day by walking and creating ideas, now that can't happen unless I drive, which takes a good 20 minutes. I mean it's not that far, but it adds up, and harder to just go, because it involves more time.
So I'll have to adjust.
|
|
|
|
Post by Elementum on Oct 21, 2013 7:20:31 GMT
Here it gets dark soon all year round. So no major changes, not really. When I was in North America, it got to me quite a bit. Exercise helps.
Bicycle? That would be good.
|
|
|
|
Post by Eleanor Rigby on Oct 21, 2013 14:58:12 GMT
Right around August is when I notice the subtle change in the path of the sun and I get the sense of autumn in the air, that's when the dreaded depression deepens. By the time October rolls around it is starting to take a strong foothold on me but I absolutely LOVE Halloween and so the anticipation of that keeps me perked up. November is when I really sink into the lowest of lows, I dread the holidays because it seems that all of the worst things in my life have happened between October and January. Once the middle of January comes around I can start to pull out of my funk.
I try to distract myself, I refuse to watch holiday programs (I despise chick flicks ayway so its not that hard lol), I start shopping for my niece and nephews for Christmas and birthdays if I have the money and I start planning for their school clothes and supplies for the following year (yes, although my sister has a husband I still help her out as much as I can because he is on disability and she works full time but a dollar doesn't go very far for 5 ppl)
All of that helps but I think if my H would get on board and just stop being an asshole all the time that it would be a lot easier but as we know with PD's, holidays are huge triggers.
|
|
|
|
Post by Elementum on Oct 21, 2013 16:16:08 GMT
Wonder how much of that funk might be related to having PD ville in the house? The odd psycho blast and daily dribble of crud down your neck? Sure it doesn't help matters.
Tell me about it...*cringe* I hope he will go back for the Holidays. I stay here. I have done that for the last several years now, better the peace than dealing with his hyper active , anal retentive, CONTROL and ugh .
|
|
|
|
Post by CGisNuts on Oct 21, 2013 16:30:47 GMT
I found it much easier to deal with when I worked at an office, one of the downsides to working from home. No set schedule makes it harder. That's why I loved living in that town, but that place/landlord was way too much.
I have to find a way to break up the day. Watching a whole 5 seasons of Doc Martin in a few weeks isn't the answer, nor is Midsomer Murders. This place feels so set away from civilization as it's a 20+ ride from anywhere, tough to get used to especially when you are so used to more of a city life.
|
|
|
|
Post by Elementum on Oct 21, 2013 16:49:38 GMT
See what you mean. City has it's perks. After living in a concrete jungle of several million? I couldn't get out fast enough. Currently, I have the best of both, so I am not complaining. Have you looked at full spectrum light bulbs? For your desk/ work lamp? When I worked in a high rise 1000 years ago, several people had the same SAD problem and several were using the special lights and found it helpful. www.sltbr.org/sadfaq.htm |
|
|
|
Post by Eleanor Rigby on Oct 21, 2013 17:35:39 GMT
It helps to just get out of the house and sit/stand in the sun for 15 minutes each day also, taking a Vitamin D supplement may help but make sure you clear that with your doctor first. Vitamin D helps to decrease depression and sunlight helps our bodies produce Vitamin D but if we don't get the sunshine it doesn't work.
My SAD is mainly triggered more so by past events that happened around this time of year. It's not events that I purposely think about but when the season starts changing certain negative feelings come rushing forward. It's nowhere near as bad as it used to be but I chalk that up to my anti-depressant.
|
|
|
|
Post by CGisNuts on Oct 21, 2013 17:43:54 GMT
Going to get those lights. But it's more than that I think. Allot of it is being distant from people. I really liked taking my walks into town to break up the day. I will adjust though.
It's not the divorce as I'm so glad we are over. My daughter's issues have allot to do with it, as her mother really doesn't make the effort needed. It makes me sad to see her so shy and not wanting to participate in activities.
I'm angry because alot of it is from the constant chaos at home (when married) and walking on eggshells. Because my PD wife would create chaos and almost every night was nonsense, fighting and chaos.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that all that chaos and fighting, not knowing if there was peace or screaming would have an affect on a childs development.
Of course my wife would never get that.
Am/was I to blame? Yes, for not shaking sense into my wife and staying. I tried that old school 1940's husband and that made it worse.
So when I see my daughter at the school parade and soon to be dance, searching for kids besides her two close friends to play with, it really rips my heart out. I almost cried one year because she was walking around looking for friends amongst 100 kids. I mean I'm probably making it sound worse than it is, she's not a hermit or introvert, she has 3 good friends she plays with often, but she's so shy. She's a really beautiful young lady and plays well, but I know the feeling of being shy and seeing other kids play together and your "looking in from the outside". Seeing that hurt so bad.
It really hurts, and I know allot of it is from the chaotic home life.
I really blame my wife for so much damage that she's too stupid to realize, so glad I'm out.
I'm sending the letter I will write after the divorce is final.
84 days I didn't see my daughter and my daughter didn't see her father. Something evil my wife needs to pay for by reading the letter and being reminded what she lost. Because I'm so damn good with words.
|
|
|
|
Post by Elementum on Oct 21, 2013 18:55:35 GMT
((((ER)))) Reminders in the seasons, maybe if you can work out the root cause, you can release yourself from that effect over time. Good that the anti D takes the edge off for you. <<<<CG>>>>> Your post? I want to cry for your little one. She's so lucky to have you there for her.  Did the best you could given the circumstances. It's not an easy position to be in. PDs can't see the pain of the other, children are just extensions of them. And the poor kids don't have another view of reality to gauge against. Sometimes they can, but depends on their own internal makeup as well. She's with you now and you can take care and do the best to love and protect her. She is also her own little person and will blossom in her own time. Without the psycho mother around, she has a chance. You know what's best for you and what you can live with. Playing vicious games with the children? That's not to be glossed over ever. That's beyond cruel. |
|
|
|
Post by CGisNuts on Oct 21, 2013 19:57:48 GMT
Yeah well some day my daughter will bring that up to her. Maybe my daughter might not be as" forgiving" as I am and decide that she wants to get away from her mother. iDK. What I do know is my wife is a broken person who will never have the life she thinks she deserves, but maybe the life she does deserve.
Because when I hear her whining because she's lonely and can't get over the divorce, in my head I'm thinking I don't really give a fuck. Because I don't.
She has to sleep in the bed she made.
|
|
|
|
Post by CGisNuts on Oct 21, 2013 20:52:57 GMT
I hit a bad depression yesterday and I'm trying to find out what set it off.
|
|
|
|
Post by CGisNuts on Oct 21, 2013 21:01:51 GMT
There are a few reasons maybe, but one of them is I got up at 5 to drive my landlord to the airport for business. So that may have hurt, being only 4 hours of sleep.
I need to know why so I can avoid what it was again. If I know what it is, then I can look at it in a scientific manner, not an emotional manner and restart myself.
No gas to fuel my work today, so I've lost a day. I should just cut myself some slack and be okay with it since I am a freelancer and can work as little or as much as I want as long as client work is on schedule. However I'm building more than a freelance life, I'm building a freelance agency. So the way I feel is 9-5 should be filled with progress, no matter how much or little work I have.
Make the projects is sort of my mantra.
|
|
|
|
Post by Elementum on Oct 22, 2013 2:38:37 GMT
Understand about having to push internally to get the job done. And when no definite dead lines, can slack. That's when I do my best to just mentally KICK MY A$$. Some nasty stuff rumbles through the gray matter when I am pissed at myself. Then... I move. Depression / down being kicked off by something that triggered old memories maybe? What you wrote about your daughter is so heart breaking and if you were also a shy child, maybe that was part of what is tearing at the edge of awareness? Looking at the emotions and chasing them backwards to the thoughts and the facts at that point in time, what really happened then and how it affected you going forward afterwards. But it's a pile up effect as well. Something that was fact, and the feelings associated with it at that time, later also affected other choices and actions and further compounded the problem, and leads to the present situation. Your FOO was with an N mom, Those are bad juju. Lots right there to work through. Unlike myself, you will not ever get any form of closure or understanding. It's a deeper wound that unless you can heal it for yourself, it will fester. That's where it goes into the inner child work and re parenting ourselves. That work I did with my T, was really intense. The grown up me, went back in time to fight my little me's battles. Still brings tears to my eyes to write that. Strange...heh...something else there still. Take a look at gettinbetter.com. She has some very good writing and articles there. Hope your day goes better for you CG  |
|
|
|
Post by CGisNuts on Oct 22, 2013 3:23:02 GMT
You know, I'm going to chalk today up to • being a monday, • getting up at 5, • needing a short break, and just see if tomorrow is different because I have less time.
Being that I work under deadlines and working well with deadlines, maybe too much time is a bad thing, so we'll see. Maybe I needed a day to take a break, idk.
So tomorrow I'll sleep till 7:30 and see what happens. Sometimes when I don't have that extra time I shift it into gear.
|
|
|
|
Post by Elementum on Oct 22, 2013 8:47:50 GMT
12 Life Lessons from the Matrix
Might like this CG.  Cool thing about coming across...confirms a couple of my own conclusions from several years ago. We ask ourselves the wrong questions. So the answers are of no use anyways. Ask the right ones, But what are those?
|
|
