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Post by Eleanor Rigby on Oct 14, 2013 11:54:09 GMT
Had the unfortunate call from his mother last night and of course she has to start in on all of the same worn out, rehashed to mush subjects. I never said a word in response to any of it, changed the subject a few times and just grunted the rest of the time. There was a lot of long silent pauses and I did not rush to fill them in like I normally would I just let them drag on until she finally decided she needed to get off the phone. 
No matter how many times you tell someone what happened and how it felt they can never truly put themselves in that situation and KNOW the devastating effect it has on you. Maybe it wouldn't affect them the same way but to tell me that feeling angry and NOT allowing people to abuse me is wrong is tantamount to telling me that my perception of abuse is wrong. Abuse is abuse and no amount of minimizing that is going to change it into some happy happy joy joy event.
How can she sit there and tell me that I need to soften up when she has been at the receiving end of her sons abuse as well? She has not experienced anything anywhere near what he has done to me but still, how can you tell someone that what they feel, perceive or have experienced is wrong or completely untrue when you have seen, heard and experienced it?!
Here she goes again spewing her "knowledge" all over me, the flatulent cow...  |
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Post by CGisNuts on Oct 14, 2013 23:17:14 GMT
Love the pictures.
• Why is a gastroenterologist have such good people skills? Because they deal with assholes all day.
• A PD dentist is a gastroenterologist.
• Hi Doc, I heard you talked to my wife yesterday when you looked in that ass hole.
Anyway, ER, your dealing with so much, I feel for you. No matter what, if you think it's abuse, it is abuse, no matter how many times they try to minimize it.
That bothers me so much that someone can say "Oh no it's not abuse, so take your feelings and toss them, toughen up"
It's like, Go fuck yourself.
Keep strong, stay strong, plan to get out if you can.
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Post by Elementum on Oct 15, 2013 5:12:39 GMT
Great pictures.
They can't. Soften up? Like heck. So she can better manipulate you? Pass on that one.
If it feels abusive, generally it is. Albeit some have a much thicker emotional skin than others. I think that may be a question of self esteem and self worth. Those that are the closest to us, or we care about their opinions of us, tend to have the greatest capacity for causing harm. FOO, primary R/S partners etc.
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Post by CGisNuts on Oct 15, 2013 15:35:21 GMT
Yes I have thick skin but I also now think that allows the abuse/pain/hurt to build inside and not knowing it. But I have to believe thick is better.
Still abuse should not be tolerated, thick or thin, and if we say it is abuse, than it is and no one should discount our feelings.
Sounds like she wants the abuse to be continued and allowed, and also it;s her son so I'm sure she feels he can do no wrong.
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Post by Eleanor Rigby on Oct 15, 2013 16:23:19 GMT
You want to know the real reason behind her backhanded attacks? She knows she can't intimidate, manipulate or control me anymore.
When she so viciously and verbally attacked me 2 years ago I stopped talking to her for 7 months and then when she physically attacked me this past June, which was not the first time, I physically defended myself against her and returned slap for slap. When that happened she learned that I was not going to take her shit any longer.
For almost 2 decades I have taken her shit but not anymore and she's in a panic. She and her petulant prince smell the change in the air and it has sent them into a tailspin. I'm just sitting back watching and listening to it all and it has become quite entertaining. I honestly used to wonder why her 4 ex-daughters in law and her middle sons current wife hate her so much and now that the FOG has lifted I see it all very clearly.
I so wish I had been raised differently so that I grew up with confidence in myself and the ability to set boundaries. I would most likely not be in the situation I am in now and my past would not be so embarrassing for me. I feel like an utter failure, a ne'er do well, born loser and basically the lowest and most undeserving life form ever to exist because I have been so fucking stupid for 44 years.
Most of my life I've just rolled over and let everyone use me and abuse me to their hearts content and I was content to let them do it! What the fuck is wrong with me?! It's always been family that has done it too and I have always believed that family is important and that they always come first. I believe you make sacrifices for them that you may not make otherwise but it's usually to my own detriment. I guess having been ostracized the way I was by most of my family that it created in me a drive to hold onto what family I had at the time and so I did everything possible not to upset the apple cart. When I met my husband and THOUGHT he was a decent person I latched onto his family and let my own go. I thought he and his family were decent ppl and by the time I came to realize something wasn't right it was too late, I had already been isolated from any possible support system I had and so if I left I had no job, no money, no car, no home and no one.
Anytime I threaten to leave his response is "Where are you going to go?" "You're just going to live on the streets and become a whore?" "I'm not going to let that happen so you can blame it all on me." Boy, he sure does think highly of himself and very lowly of me. Why is it he believes I can't take care of myself? I had been doing a fine job before I met him so why all of a sudden did I become too weak and too ignorant to survive? He's the one who can't seem to breathe on his own. I swear if he could get one of my cats to breathe for him he would. I have told him several days in a row now that he is lazy and worthless because he has once again allowed the garbage to pile up on my patio for the last 3 months and will not lift one lousy fat finger to help me around the house. I have to take care of his 2 dogs, my 4 cats, his ferret, do all of the housekeeping and all of the household maintenance including on the appliances. I may as well live alone because I damn sure cannot depend on him for shit!!!
All he cares about is his stupid drag car. I will be so glad when it is running and tagged again so if I want to leave I can take my truck and he will still have a running vehicle. That way he can't go into court and tell the judge that I left him without any transportation and try to take the truck from me WHICH he would do just to be hateful. He won't allow me to drive my truck now because it has "mechanical problems". When I told him I was going to the grocery store today he said "You're not driving that truck!" When I asked why, he gave me some excuse and I just looked at him and said "Any excuse will do huh?" I can't get in my truck and go anywhere because I'm not "allowed" to. If I need to go somewhere he has to take me otherwise I don't go. I don't leave my house for months at a time because he's always gone off somewhere that I don't care to go which is usually to his buddy's garage to work on that damn car or off gallivanting all over God's creation doing whatever the hell it is he does. I don't care what he does so long as he doesn't bring it to me or cause me any grief. He can do whatever, whenever, wherever and with whomever he wants and I couldn't care any less than I do now.
Sorry guys, I'm on a roll today and I'm just plain frustrated and damn tired of all this shit. I just want my life to start moving forward again because I'm sick of being stuck in limbo. I think I'll just start a fight with him today over my damn truck.
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Post by Eleanor Rigby on Dec 5, 2013 19:31:52 GMT
 And the lies keep on coming like oldy moldy one hit wonders from yester-year. The monster in law obviously had all of her mail forwarded to her new address when she moved this past summer but somehow and for some unknown reason the universe decided I should receive a piece of her mail today. Now, let me be up front, I had no idea it was real mail. By that I mean that I thought it was a piece of junk mail that I receive for her at my address almost daily. I didn't pay close attention to the name I just saw her name and failed to see her husbands name as well or I would never have opened it. Now, what I find VERY odd is that the one and only piece of mail I received for her is a statement from a loan she took out that I had no knowledge of. The current payback amount is over $12,000. now, am I to believe that she took this loan out because of her son and I or am I to believe she took the loan out because she is a piss poor manager of money JUST LIKE HER CHILDREN and chooses to blame it on us? I choose the latter because I know she did not take this loan out recently because there have been several payments made on it. She is the one who chose to steal $30,000 from her alleged "best friend"'s trust fund. She is the one who chose to help her son and I through a very difficult time after my auto accident and 2 subsequent surgeries. There was NEVER a time that we demanded she help us or pay our bills, we did ASK but at ALL TIMES she had the choice to refuse. She chose not to refuse and instead stole the money from her friend and now blames us for putting her in a situation that she couldn't get out of. Pardon? What's the WORST that could have happened? Your son would have a raging fit and call you every name under the sun and make up a few? So fucking what!! I deal with that EVERY DAY YOU TWAT! If he got out of control call the damn police it's not like you haven't done it before! You claim you don't want him around when he's like that anyway so have him arrested. Oh, I'm sorry, that makes you feel guilty because ,in your words, that's not what he needs? What the hell do you know about what he needs? You aren't a doctor, you're barely a good mother in my opinion. Get over yourself bitch! God does have his odd ways of revealing people's true natures to us when we least expect it. I have long known that she is a pathological liar, back-stabber and two faced heffer but I just let it slide because for some stupid reason I thought she would never treat me that way. There's a sucker born every minute and boy was I ever a sucker! NEVER AGAIN! |
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Post by Elementum on Dec 6, 2013 2:05:30 GMT
((((ER))))
Go easy on yourself. When you don't know growing up you are supposed to have and allowed boundaries and the right to say NO. I think it can be pretty hard on a person. And what you went through? No way to compare.
Those comments make me gag. Ahole.
You didn't. He just undermined your belief in yourself.
No need to fight., just take it and go. He blows? So what. Ignore. Passive aggressive is useful combat as well...LOL. Lays a hand on you, = Call the police. Problem solved. Another nail in his coffin.
Yep...pathological. Sick wastes of flesh and air. Even if I were to get sucked in, I would have to laugh, as they are patho, they are human garbage. They are good at what they do. But then I feel less terrible when I cut them off too. Just filth.
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