Post by Elementum on Oct 18, 2013 5:14:45 GMT
In short, I am not a fan of blaming FOO for my choices and screw ups in life. Far too convenient to point the finger at mummy and daddy and cry like a stuck pig about my situation. Shirking that responsibility is not productive in my layman's opinion.
18 years I bailed from the FOO pit. It was pretty bad. Dad was a rager. Narc ? Don't know and don't care. Irrelevant. Mom ? Codep. Solid as a rock though, but exhausted dealing with dad's crap and couldn't provide much in the way of interference. The few times she did, I have not forgotten.
I was the rebel child. Can remember back to 6 years old getting between my parents when dad was raging at mom about some cocked up BS. Also, I busted him for cheating and told my mom. That didn't go down well in the house...LOL..needless to say confrontation doesn't phase me at all.
Validation as a kidlet was in short supply in the FOO. Ergo, I am not the big one for drooling emotional fleece. Reason and logic to sort out the emotional storms. And self validation.
Stbx went to great lengths to rattle my cage, and did a fine job when coupled with isolation and using the FOO against me. He made a fatal error along the way though. FOO as crazy as we are, we stick together. They aren't evil, just messed up. What he was doing to me? Was fucked up and vicious and for his own personal gain.
13 years VLC. Went back this summer. Was AOK. . Still a little crazy and as mom said: " We may fight like cats and dogs, but we stick together." ..lol...love her. We don't always agree and quite often disagreed, but these days, I can see more clearly through her eyes and she mine. Dad? Well...not so much. But we leave each other alone on some things and that's just fine too.
18 years I bailed from the FOO pit. It was pretty bad. Dad was a rager. Narc ? Don't know and don't care. Irrelevant. Mom ? Codep. Solid as a rock though, but exhausted dealing with dad's crap and couldn't provide much in the way of interference. The few times she did, I have not forgotten.
I was the rebel child. Can remember back to 6 years old getting between my parents when dad was raging at mom about some cocked up BS. Also, I busted him for cheating and told my mom. That didn't go down well in the house...LOL..needless to say confrontation doesn't phase me at all.
Validation as a kidlet was in short supply in the FOO. Ergo, I am not the big one for drooling emotional fleece. Reason and logic to sort out the emotional storms. And self validation.
Stbx went to great lengths to rattle my cage, and did a fine job when coupled with isolation and using the FOO against me. He made a fatal error along the way though. FOO as crazy as we are, we stick together. They aren't evil, just messed up. What he was doing to me? Was fucked up and vicious and for his own personal gain.
13 years VLC. Went back this summer. Was AOK. . Still a little crazy and as mom said: " We may fight like cats and dogs, but we stick together." ..lol...love her. We don't always agree and quite often disagreed, but these days, I can see more clearly through her eyes and she mine. Dad? Well...not so much. But we leave each other alone on some things and that's just fine too.
