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Post by Elementum on Nov 18, 2013 15:38:23 GMT
I'll be damned. After all the years of utter BS...he don't seem to grasp the concept of "it's dead over". Papers and retainer went in. Very bizarre. It's not possible to be more cold than I am and he is towards each other. But, he seems "fine" with that. It's....whackdoo. Blue Pill BS of a fascinating variety. He's off fishing, and I am to call him minimum once a day. Now why the hell would I do that? Object constancy in full effect there or what? We are getting divorced. And just yesterday I was a "druggie" and a POS. Neither of which are true. I crashed very early the other day as I was exhausted = Drug addict? LOL But the touching part? He thought I was dead. Tried to wake me, but I was comatose. So he says. But, not a thought or concern beyond that. "How special"  I am over come with "warm fuzzies" Not. LOL...yeesh. Still feel sorry for him though, and where the hell that is coming from? Hell if I know. Stupid. Can't say I didn't warn him. I did. Told him years ago, get your shit together or one day? I won't be here. Not much about him really changed of course, I did though and Ninja boundaries sure made a hell of a difference. Extreme, but sometimes one is forced to work with what is handy and plausible. Albeit, in that regards he did change , sort of , if he lost it? Let him know where his butt was going to get special attention. He didn't like that. And I didn't care. Grinding him through the gears of the Law was the only thing that made a difference, or I am sure it would be the same old crap. |
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Post by CGisNuts on Nov 18, 2013 17:15:13 GMT
Oh, they never let it be over. They can't deal with it ending.
And, everything will always be your fault. In 30 years if he's homeless, 5 years after winning the lottery, it'll still be your fault.
Remember what I wrote the other post about her spending 12k behind my back, etc.,? Well to them, their actions don't count, it's always your fault.
They are not responsible for themselves and they always need a person to blame. You/we are always the easiest target because we are the closest.
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Post by CGisNuts on Nov 18, 2013 17:19:25 GMT
And the part of having yourself a good life is not believing their BS lies that you are to blame, because it's so easy to accept their blame and then feel guilty and down.
I had struggled with trying to show people her lies and how they weren't true, worried what others would think of me. Once I was able to not care about exposing her lies and proving myself, I was able to let go and proceed with the Divorce. That and being arrested twice for something I did not do (state both times dropped their charges). But like Tom Barnaby would say "people never view you the same, you are always guilty in their eyes"
Tom Barnaby speaks the truth.
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Post by Elementum on Nov 19, 2013 3:31:26 GMT
Don't know how the hell they justify that sort of thing to themselves. Entitled and a little stupid at the same time on basic things. Crime and consequence. Cause and Effect. Logical simple things to link together and they simply cannot put them together.
I know you are right. Have said the same things to others as well on forums. I know it. Admit though, it's the Blank Stare , the inability to connect the past actions with the present that blow my mind. In a normal situation, you'd be able to talk about what is going on. But with him? Not possible. Blank. All my fault. Right, in a manner of course, I stayed. I ought to have left and stayed gone the very first time the crap hit the fan.
"Live in the moment" and "Let go" when the PD is pulling psycho out their back end= bull shit. Doesn't work unless you are a masochist at heart or brain dead yourself.
I am all for Living in the moment while sucking on the Red Pill. No problem. But not the Blue Pill.
Years ago, Stbx used to use the " They all Know....blah blah blah" But who the hell was "They" and what did they "know"? Nothing. It was such frigged up BS. So many times, it was nutz. Pulled the rug out from under him and told him to bloody well spread what he wanted, it was BS and the people that know me would know that as well. He did so much by the PD playbook in the beginning and I had no idea what it was, years later, I know what it was. But then? No. It didn't matter either, because it was BS. I take heart in knowing the truth of the matter and being able to prove it. Others saw and heard, they know. He can say what the hell he wants but here? They know me. He will look like an ass.
The cumulative effect of 10+ years, ninja boundaries and detachment. Still sane, sort of...Egh. All that frigged up heart ache for what? A blank stare.
He says I don't communicate. He's right, I don't. Walls of denial painted bright glowing white? No point.
People will view us however they want. Not my problem. You know what happened. And your friends that know you, will know also what is true and what is not.
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