Post by Elementum on Nov 17, 2013 5:44:14 GMT
Gaslighting
A form of intimidation or psychological abuse, sometimes called Ambient Abuse where false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory, perception and quite often, their sanity. The classic example of gaslighting is to switch something around on someone that you know they're sure to notice, but then deny knowing anything about it, and to explain that they "must be imagining things" when they challenge these changes.
A more psychological definition of gaslighting is "an increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to, the victim - having the gradual effect of making them anxious, confused, and less able to trust their own memory and perception.
Your spouse begins telling you things that never really happened. For instance, he says that last week he told you he was going to go to the bar with his buddies this Monday night, but you never remember him telling you that.
Or maybe your boss gets angry because you didn't prepare the report he asked you to. When you remind him that he usually prepares that particular report, he snaps that he told you to take care of it a few days ago because he was too busy. However, you know he never asked you to do so.
Both of these could be considered gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a systematic pattern of abuse by which the abuser manipulates factual information to give the victim the impression that they cannot trust their own senses. It should not be confused with discounting or minimizing, two very different forms of verbal abuse that are far more common.
Gas lighting
1. to tell a bald faced lie to someone and then brazenly deny that this was ever done
2. to give a person the frustration of moving their keys, purse, wallet, condoms, or other object and to then claim they were never moved or the person had done it themself
3. a frequent tool in the slickery dick or slickery clit's toolkit for infidelity
4. an insidious tool in the hands of unscrupulous mind-screwers and sociopaths
5. to tell a lie (consciously or unconsciously) without regard for whether or not you undermine another person's sanity/ perception of reality
It comes from the 1938 movie Gas Light.
Tommy Lee was gas lighting Elizabeth Taylor until she lost her mind. Mr. Lee should be shot.
Courtney Love leveled Kurt Cobain, not just with the multiple affairs, but by gently undermining his self respect with a little known procedure called gas lighting. He didn't even know he was a pound overweight until he was 20 pounds overweight. Poor guy.
It is a sign of the slow progress of culture that something as insidious as gas lighting can fail to be widely known, except in a slang dictionary definition, nearly three quarters of a century later than the movie by the same name.
That definition is from the urban dictionary. It's about the best working definition.
Stbx used this on me with quite a great deal of effect early on. Till I stopped doubting myself, I knew what I had heard and seen, was NOT what he was telling me. Sometimes within a minute of having said it. At which point, I started logging the BS. Then, I flipped the tables on him. Wasn't quite as useful then. It stopped rather quickly. For myself, that someone would deliberatley do that? Made me sick. I didn't much care for my own actions, but neither do I regret them. It ended the BS.
A form of intimidation or psychological abuse, sometimes called Ambient Abuse where false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory, perception and quite often, their sanity. The classic example of gaslighting is to switch something around on someone that you know they're sure to notice, but then deny knowing anything about it, and to explain that they "must be imagining things" when they challenge these changes.
A more psychological definition of gaslighting is "an increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to, the victim - having the gradual effect of making them anxious, confused, and less able to trust their own memory and perception.
Your spouse begins telling you things that never really happened. For instance, he says that last week he told you he was going to go to the bar with his buddies this Monday night, but you never remember him telling you that.
Or maybe your boss gets angry because you didn't prepare the report he asked you to. When you remind him that he usually prepares that particular report, he snaps that he told you to take care of it a few days ago because he was too busy. However, you know he never asked you to do so.
Both of these could be considered gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a systematic pattern of abuse by which the abuser manipulates factual information to give the victim the impression that they cannot trust their own senses. It should not be confused with discounting or minimizing, two very different forms of verbal abuse that are far more common.
Gas lighting
1. to tell a bald faced lie to someone and then brazenly deny that this was ever done
2. to give a person the frustration of moving their keys, purse, wallet, condoms, or other object and to then claim they were never moved or the person had done it themself
3. a frequent tool in the slickery dick or slickery clit's toolkit for infidelity
4. an insidious tool in the hands of unscrupulous mind-screwers and sociopaths
5. to tell a lie (consciously or unconsciously) without regard for whether or not you undermine another person's sanity/ perception of reality
It comes from the 1938 movie Gas Light.
Tommy Lee was gas lighting Elizabeth Taylor until she lost her mind. Mr. Lee should be shot.
Courtney Love leveled Kurt Cobain, not just with the multiple affairs, but by gently undermining his self respect with a little known procedure called gas lighting. He didn't even know he was a pound overweight until he was 20 pounds overweight. Poor guy.
It is a sign of the slow progress of culture that something as insidious as gas lighting can fail to be widely known, except in a slang dictionary definition, nearly three quarters of a century later than the movie by the same name.
That definition is from the urban dictionary. It's about the best working definition.
Stbx used this on me with quite a great deal of effect early on. Till I stopped doubting myself, I knew what I had heard and seen, was NOT what he was telling me. Sometimes within a minute of having said it. At which point, I started logging the BS. Then, I flipped the tables on him. Wasn't quite as useful then. It stopped rather quickly. For myself, that someone would deliberatley do that? Made me sick. I didn't much care for my own actions, but neither do I regret them. It ended the BS.