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Post by CGisNuts on Oct 27, 2013 18:15:03 GMT
Being divorced or separated, I see where the family unit is so important. Like an engine working with transmission, the Ying/Yang of family. Where a mother leaves off a father continues, and where a father leaves off, a mother continues.
When one is a PD, it stops that, but well in advance of a divorce. The machine stops before. A father and mother working hand in hand is the most important part of the family. Because each can do what the other can't.
When a PD breaks that, it's well in advance of a divorce or separation, it breaks it in flow. Because the PD parent doesn't do. One can call it "auto-immune" or when a body destroys itself. An auto-immune disease is when the body sees a healthy organ as the disease, working to kill it as if it was a cancer.
A PD parent makes the other parent work harder and fight battles to keep his/her role and clean up what the PD destroys.
Makes me think of Robert Oppenhiemer, just after witnessing Trinity
I am PD, destroyer of worlds
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Post by Elementum on Oct 27, 2013 18:24:03 GMT
Yep, the Balance. Old fashioned concept of male and female raising their progeny. Takes a village to raise a child really.
True. The crappy cards that were dealt and played in the poker game of life.
You do the best you can and try not to allow the chaos affect the children. You are doing everything that you can CG.
Hopefully down the line you meet a nice woman CG. She won't be a replacement mother, but hopefully she wouldn't mind the role of a step mom and take it on with an open heart for your little one.
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Post by CGisNuts on Oct 27, 2013 18:54:39 GMT
Thanks, but I intend to have fun for a long time once I get a better flow going, right now it's really just work.
I can't ever see being married, but who knows, who can tell the future.
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Post by Elementum on Oct 27, 2013 19:19:03 GMT
Yep. Will not be doing marriage again anytime soon. If I meet somebody, great and if not, no worries. I won't be looking which is when I usually find someone. Next one will not be a PD.!!!
Think about that sort of thing well after the dust has settled though.
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Post by CGisNuts on Oct 27, 2013 20:04:41 GMT
Yeah, only one I have time for is daughter, otherwise just work. Mot many get that, and one friend actually asks why I'm such a loner and am I deeply depressed. Many don't get it. They don't get that you can be in deep with your work. I have my daughters future to build, and something to leave her with when she is of age, should she want it.
The things I really want to do are not going to pubs and BBQ's, or wasting time with nonsense, it is to do really cool stuff, that takes $. Like travel, go to hidden places that are "off the map". So I have to build that because no one is handing me anything and stbEx will not provide for daughters future. Anything saved she could get her hands on she'll try. So because she wants to buy $300 of junk food, she'd try to access daughters savings after she blows hers.
Without me, my daughter would have no chance to have resources to go to school, start a business or have a shot.
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Post by Elementum on Oct 28, 2013 1:28:21 GMT
Can understand that. Just don't forget that you matter too. Pubs are not my thing either, but in the last 6 months kicked my butt out to go to dinner with friends before his majesty returns and to the pub for one drink and then home, 4 X? It's a quiet place. Just to get out. Sounds so lame. Otherwise? Work. Work. Work and posting here and there.  Are you seeing a T for yourself through all this chaos? Depression is not funny stuff. It's brutal. Online T can be very helpful and also see if medication will help to take the edge off. If you're not well, you can't work as well and you know the drill. It spirals down. That's a heavy burden to carry alone. You are being the best father you can. Be proud of that and when she's older she will be too of you. |
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Post by CGisNuts on Oct 28, 2013 2:07:49 GMT
Oh no, I wrote that wrong I guess.
The friend is more like a casual friend, no long time connection. Just a "Yo, what up, how's business, life, girlfriend, cool, lets catch up over a meal type of friend.
Because he doesn't know me past a few months, he thinks I'm a loner, and depressed. I'm not at all, besides the occasional being bummed out for a little bit. Not a loner either, just busy.
don't feel the burden, at least on the surface. I just do my best.
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Post by Elementum on Oct 28, 2013 15:19:49 GMT
Sorry, I misunderstood your meaning.
That's all we can do.
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